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Married Sex is the Best. Honest.

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honesty, marriage, sex

honesty, marriage, sex

Lady Chatterley answers the question, “What’s the best thing about married sex?”

There are so many wonderful things about married sex.

All the usual clichés come to mind of course: the intimacy and familiarity. The history. And while those things are certainly true, in my experience, one of the best things about married sex is how honest it is.

There’s something incredibly liberating about the sex you have with someone who knows your mind and body intimately. Someone who understands your insecurities and can read your scars and your tears. A place often reached only through months and years of honesty. Of sharing snippets of truth in fears and stories and secrets. And through the establishment of trust. And safety.

Honesty in sex can be a shock, at first.

Honesty in sex can be a shock, at first. The ability to articulate clearly and confidently what you like and don’t like, what feels good and what doesn’t, without fear of offending or embarrassing. Or of being embarrassed.

It’s something you don’t necessarily feel comfortable doing with a new or a casual partner. Something that develops over time. And with that truth comes authenticity, sex without performance. Without pretence.

It’s something you don’t necessarily feel comfortable doing with a new or a casual partner. Something that develops over time.

For some, the ability to be honest about sexual wants and needs comes easily. For others it’s a gradual unlocking. A slower, more tentative unfurling. What marriage (hopefully) provides, is the safety and security to be truthful about sex.  A space to explore fantasy and desire in a context of love and respect.

Married sex can be so many different things. Exciting, boring, wonderful. Repetitious, lazy and easy. Much like life generally. But being able to be deeply honest and open with your spouse, I think, is the very best part about it.

Image: Gordon M Robertson/Flickr

The post Married Sex is the Best. Honest. appeared first on The Good Men Project.


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